A few years ago I came across this drawing from Rembrandt, a beggar in torn clothes with a wooden leg. Rembrandt had drawn many beggars, the accompanying text said, not just because of his deep interest in people but also to illustrate an important facet of protestant faith: “We are all beggars before God”. Where other artists in his time usually ridiculed unfortunate people, he instead humanized them. And then went one step further and made beggars of us all. (even making a self portrait as a beggar)
Now I may not be religious - but I do believe in the power of a good metaphor and the phrase stuck with me. So much so that I wrote this song from that viewpoint. Maybe because so often I feel like a beggar - before the Lord of Song, or before an audience. Maybe because I long for faith in some form, for the surrendering act of it, or the force of it’s conviction.
I wrote a full version of the song a few years ago, but was never happy with the chorus. I knew it had to do something with surrendering, having faith and letting go but the words eluded me. Or maybe the act itself eluded me. I must have written nine different choruses, but they were never right. But when I started singing with Marjolein van der Klauw earlier this year things started to fall into place in more ways than one. I loved how our voices mingled - her high silvery tones with my darker ones, how she fully got what I was trying to say and how wonderful it was to listen to the details of her phrasing. I walked into her kitchen one morning with a few choruses, we started singing this one and knew it was finally there. My act of faith.